My Cry

Oh God I cry to you

I am broken, confused, and crying

the future seems so unsure

and my heart is in pieces on the floor

the tears keep flowing

and even the sunniest days seem foggy

I want to smile and mean it

to trust you with every fiber of my being

I do not want to hurt any longer

because when I do

I feel like I am nailing you to that cross again

saying that I know better

that I know who I should be with

But I praise you oh God

for still giving me your peace 

even when I doubt your providence

after I fight for control of my life

Your peace sustains me

and without it

my life would be total chaos 

You are such a powerful and loving God

why do I doubt your ability to give me a man

that is perfect for me

Why can't I just sit back and wait

but maybe he is it

maybe its just not our time

Yet there I go again

hammering those nails

into your hands again and again

I find myself wishing and hoping

for the one who has my heart 

to be the one you want to give the key to

Oh Lord, I want you to hold the key to my heart

Yet I am letting you and him fight for control

You should be the one to give him the key

not the other way around

But does that mean its wrong to hurt

to let my heart be broken by him

Does that mean my heart's key is not yours

Father, if you don't hold the key

help me give it back you to

help me wait till you give the key

and not steal it back 

to give to the one I choose 

It doesn't matter what the future holds

You have it in your hands

that should be enough

Lord, let me focus on today

the struggle to give you the key back

and gluing my heart back together again

Oh God, this is my cry!

Quote of the Day:

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"    -Jeremiah 29:11