Crash Zone

Photo by Amber Sweigart

This scene is very familiar to me. The sand. The waves. My favorite place in the world to be. I wish I could spend all summer just sitting here. I praise God that he made something so wonderful, so beautiful. While at home #1 recently, I was explaining for the thousandth time that I was unemployed. What started out as a walk of faith has become more difficult and frustrating with each, "Have you found a job yet?" Hey, guess what....it is only JUNE! Apparently people forget that schools do not post jobs the same as other fields. Anyway, back to the waves. The person I was talking to described this season as the "crash zone." For those of you who have not spent a large amount of time in the ocean, let me give a quick explanation. There are days when the sea is rough. The waves are great but they continually roll in. There is not much chance to get into the water in a safe place. Often on these days, you get stuck right where the waves keep crashing, hardly having time to breath. One wave after another. You can't swim past to where the waves don't crash but now you also can't get out onto land because of the constant waves. That spot is the "crash zone." You are just being pummeled by wave after wave. I have never found this place fun. It scares me actually. If I get caught there, I find a way out of the ocean as quickly as possible and I stay out the rest of the day. So ironically, now I am in a stage of life named after my least favorite experience in the ocean. I am in the "crash zone." No, I don't have a job, YET. No, I don't have a boyfriend, YET. No, I don't know what I want a master's in (if I even decided to go back), YET. Yes, I keep getting rejections from employers. Thus the life of a young adult stuck in the "crash zone."

Yet, you know what I realized also while at home #1 recently. How beautiful the "crash zone" is. I heard the analogy, thought it was perfect and moved on, without stopping to think about how beautiful the real "crash zone" is. When you look at it from afar, you can see the beauty. Even while in the mist of the "crash zone" (especially if the waves are more like knee high instead of 6 footers). There is beauty. How often I have forgotten that, especially recently. I thank God that I had the chance to spend some alone time on the beach my last day at home #1. The water was actually tolerable (surprising for June) so I stood there, about waist high and let the baby waves crash on me. It hit me in those moments as I praised God for his creation and thanked him for creating waves that I made the connection between the beauty I was thanking God for and the beauty that I know is in even my life's "crash zone." I need to be more like the girl pictured below. She is playing in the "crash zone." Enjoying it even. I haven't been doing that. I have been depressed, mad, frustrated, and all around not a happy person to be around. I might be saying, "I trust God," but I wasn't truly trusting. If I had been, I would have been much more joyful from knowing that God had it under control. 

Take a minute, look at the pictures, and pray. Maybe you too are in a "crash zone" or maybe someone close to you is. Maybe you have just forgotten to dance in the rain or play in the waves of life. Maybe you need to kick up the thankfulness or maybe you just want to praise God for his creation. Whatever is on your heart, take a moment and reflect on that before you move on to your next blog to read :)  I know you will be blessed by that moment. I know I have been. 

Photo by Amber Sweigart

Photo by Amber Sweigart

Jonah

There are so many reasons to be extremely grateful to live in the New Testament times. Last night while watching the Veggie Tales Jonah movie with my nephew and his parents, I saw another reason. In the Old Testament, once you made the decision to live a life very separate from God, there you stayed. Not that God did not believe in second chances but the Israelites were very judgmental. You can see that attitude in Jonah. A sinner was a sinner. But now, Christians love testimonies. They love to hear about how God changes lives. Don't get me wrong, I am very aware of how judgmental some Christians are. But in general, a changed life is much more received now. I am so glad. I stumble. I fall. I break God's heart over and over. Yet, I know he loves me and I have been extremely blessed with friends who love me just the same. No judging, just love.

Maybe I am just super lucky. Maybe my assumptions about life being different now then it was in Jonah's time is wrong. But personally, I will be grateful for grace and I will be grateful to live now and not back then.

Just a thought.

Waiting: Even Jesus Did It

Seems like Spring is always a period of waiting for me. This week I have heard that word a lot. Sometimes I really don't like that answer. But currently, I am much happier to hear "wait" and not "no." There are several situations which my waiting is involved: job, relationships, future, etc.

While at our monthly "family dinner" (code for my group of friends who gather at least once a month at a friend's apt for dinner, fellowship, and movies), we did a devotion mainly because it is Good Friday. I really liked having the devotion first before we began the other activities and I hope I can encourage us to continue beginning with one. Anyway, during the devotion, I heard the word wait again but in a way I had never before. Have you ever stopped and thought about how many times God has waited throughout the Bible. Some of it was because he knew best and some because of human error. Granted some of these I have thought about before but tonight it all just hit in a new way. He waited so many years before even bringing Jesus to Earth. He waited until Jesus was 30 to start his ministry. He waited before sending Jesus back to Jerusalem. And what hit me most tonight...he waited three days before raising Jesus from the dead. Not because he did not have the power to snap his fingers and be done with it. But the all powerful God waited three days before overcoming sin. God waited! God is a God of waiting, or at least that is how it looks from our perspective. In reality, God is not waiting per say but his time is just much different from our own.

Here are two questions to think about: Why then does it surprise us when God asks us to wait? Why does it surprise us when sin takes us even longer to overcome? (this last question did not even hit me until I was writing just now).

Good Friday reminds us not only of the perfect Jesus taking our sins on the cross and dying for us but also another reminder of how different God's timing is compared to our own. Along with how much we need to trust his timing because he knows much more than we do. He is the author of time.

Just Wait!

Just Cry

Sometimes you just need a good cry. I know I do. Sometimes you don't realize it until something makes you cry uncontrollably. Last night was one of those nights for me. I went and saw October Baby. If you haven't heard about this movie, I will give you a quick summary. A college age girl finds out she was adopted after her biological mother tried aborting her. Needless to say I cried a lot during the movie but once I got home, I couldn't stop. Well thank goodness for cooking as a distraction otherwise I might still be crying ;)  Anyway, I apparently really needed that cry. But if anyone else is like me, sometimes I feel like I shouldn't cry. I feel like if I get upset and cry over something, that means one of many things: I am overreacting, I am not trusting God, or I am a failure. Then this morning God reminded me of a Mandisa song I heard recently. I turned it on and this part of the song jumped out at me:

Just cry
Just cry
It doesn't mean you don't trust him
It doesn't mean you don't believe
It doesn't mean you don't know
He's redeeming everything.
-A section from Just Cry by Mandisa


I think that song says everything. I have nothing else to add but this:  Just Cry...it's okay. God will hold you while you do and won't get upset either. 

Connecting and Encouraging

Like many of my friends and people I know today, our support system and friends are spread nationwide, and even worldwide. I am blessed to see my earthly best friend every weekend and occasionally in the middle of the week, but there is always that adjustment period after spending all your time with your support system. I experienced that my freshman year of college, my senior year of college, and now after graduation and starting a job all by myself. There have been a few times in this most recent adjustment period that have been hard. It is hard knowing that even if I went back home, I wouldn't see any of my girls. It is hard knowing that if I just drove 20 minutes, I could see my best friend. It is hard knowing also that they are all super busy and even if I could find a way to see them, they may not have time for me. It is hard knowing I don't even have time to try.

During one of these moments, I was thinking, praying, and crying when this thought just hit me. I fully believe it was a God thing because it certainly did not come from me. I want to share this idea with you all because maybe you understand or maybe you just need a way to reconnect and get back involved in someone's life who you do see every day. This isn't just for long distances but for busy lives. We are all growing up, whether we like it or not, but that doesn't mean friendships should end or take a backseat because we are relational creatures. We need each other.

Here is the idea (take it, use it, change it, whatever will work for you. This is not mine but God's so do with it as you please):

1. Pick one day a week.
2. Send a quick text to the friend(s) you have made the agreement with.
3. In the text, include a positive (or praise) from the week before and one negative (or prayer request).
4. Wait for their positive and negative.
5. Write their positive and negative in your prayer journal or your calendar or your bathroom mirror, whichever fits your lifestyle best.
6. Actually pray about these. Don't just write them down and forget. Follow through. You will be amazed at the answered prayers you see even just in the first week.

This does not require a lot of time. Maybe five minutes one day a week and then the time it takes you to shoot up a quick prayer of praise and need throughout the rest of the week for your friend(s). Start slow, maybe one friend, and once you get in the habit, add another. Pray about who you pick too. Maybe this will be a ministry for you to people you don't know very well but really need some encouragement. Be open and ready but be careful what you tell God cause he will take you up on it in a heartbeat.

Blessed,
Me

Babies

Have you ever held a newborn and I mean within hours of being born. Many of you would probably say yes or within days I am sure. But have you ever walked the labor process with someone. By that I don't mean being there when they actually give birth (cause if you are anything like me, you hope the only time you experience that is when it is your own cause otherwise you may faint haha!). I mean - hold their hand while they have contractions? Heard the baby's heartbeat right before they are born? Sat there while the doctors discussed things? Heard and saw the baby kick the monitor so hard that mom's body shakes and the monitor lets out the most ear piercing sound? I can't imagine an experience bringing you closer to God other than when you actually give birth yourself. You find yourself praying without ceasing. You are incredibly anxious and sleep is next to impossible until your body can't function anymore. One moment that tiny little body is inside the mom and the next, you are holding it. And if that birth contained any type of complication then you are even more grateful and amazed to hold that tiny little body.

Until recently, I had never been so involved in the process, so close. I had seen women pregnant and then seen the baby but never within hours of each other. To look at that little body and realize it had been inside my best friend for the last 9 months and now I was holding him still boggles my mind. He is purely a gift of God. I can't even imagine what it is like to be the mom holding your little boy or girl after birth. If it boggles me so much now and I am only an "aunt," I am going to be seriously having issues realizing that I am a mom one day. But I now am beginning to understand why people say you understand God so much more once you are a parent.

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:13-14


God is in every birth. We may not always understand the bad that happens or why it doesn't go the way we had wanted but our "frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth" (Psalm 139:15). Maybe I am being extra sensitive because I have been working on signing the song Held by Natalie Grant yet I have a "nephew" to be oh so thankful for. I am so glad God saw fit for that little man to enter the world fairly easily and healthy but I know not everyone is as lucky.

So take the time to say a prayer of thanks for any little ones you know who recently entered the world but also take a second to pray for the families who are either struggling to have a baby or who have lost a baby shortly after birth. I have walked with some who have experienced that and it's one of the hardest roads anyone could ever walk along.

A Grateful and SUPER Proud Aunt,
-Me