Imagination - Stay!! Sit!! COME BACK!

My mind is a dangerous place to be. I know I am not alone in my feelings. Many people express negative feelings toward their imagination and their thought process. The Bible speaks about our mind's power many times. God is vary aware of our human nature and how quickly we can become trapped by our thoughts. 2 Corinthians 10:5 say,
          "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up            
           against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to
           make it obedient to Christ."
Psalm 10:4 says,
          "In his pride the wicked man does not seek him; in all his thoughts
           there is no room for God."
Psalm 139:23 says,
           "Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my
            anxious thoughts."

That's just to name a few. However, the other day I was reading in a book by Joanna Weaver entitled Having a Mary's Heart in a Martha's World. It is a great book that I strongly recommend to all women who are busy (oh wait...isn't that all of us?!) Anyway, she spoke of her thoughts and how she was held captive by them. She read Isaiah 26:3 in the old British Revised Version, which reads like this, "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose imagination is stayed on Thee." WOW! There isn't much more that I can add to that other than confessing my lack of controlling my imagination. My imagination is forever running away from me. Sometimes in a very obviously bad way and some times in a way which does not seem harmful at the time but when I reflect back on those times, through God's eyes the best I can, I see how negative it really was.

 **Let me interject something into this train of thought right here...by imagination, I don't mean your creativity. Christ doesn't ask us to give up our creativity. All he desires is that our thoughts and our imagination doesn't pull us away from him. When in doubt, ask if that thought is glorifying God, strengthening your relationship with him, and is showing your trust in him. Philippians 4:8 is a perfect scripture for guidance with this self-anaylsis. Ask God to show you what parts of your imagination are acceptable and what needs to change. He will show you.**

Over the last few years, I have really tried to control it more but upon looking back, really all I have done is tried to control the out of control thoughts, not ALL of my thoughts. After reading how Joanna explained her imagination and doing some reflecting, I am so much more aware of how careful I must be. I'm still not perfect, nor will I ever be until Christ comes back, but I am definitely spending more time in prayer over it. I desire Christ's power over my life, especially in my thoughts. I know he can change my thoughts but I also know that I need to focus on him when I find my imagination running away again. Our greatest battle field with satan is in our mind and our imagination is the biggest part of that.

Stay focused on Christ and when you feel your imagination running away again, find something to point your mind back to Christ (whether for you that is music, reading your Bible, praying, or fellowship with other Christians, etc).

Oh what peace awaits us when we control our imagination!
God Bless

Scar

This is another poem I did for my Deaf Lit class. I really love this one even though it is not a personal reflection at all. This type is called ABC story because the handshapes of each letter are used in order (A-Z or Z-A) to tell a story. I'll save the explanation for another time but if you watch, I bet you can figure the gist out for yourselves :)

Enjoy!

The Bridge

This poem I wrote for my Deaf Lit class. For those who do not know ASL, the basic idea behind the poem is I am driving across a long bridge (I used the Chesapeake Bay Bridge and Tunnel in VA as inspiration). The times I am driving along the bridge sections, I remember happy times in friendships. When I am driving in the tunnels, I am reminded of times in those friendships when I felt alone and disconnected from my friends. What friendship does not have up and downs? I feel this poem represents that fairly well.

Enjoy!

Rain

It's raining
My umbrella is open
causing the rain to run away from my head
off the edges of the umbrella
missing my ears
my eyes
my brain
I see the rain
I feel the rain
and maybe a few drops
find their way and absorb in my head
but most just drop to the ground around me
never actually reaching my mind or soul
I know I need the rain
I know my soul is thirsty
and longing to grow
but without the nourishment of the rain
that's impossible
I want to put my umbrella down
To feel the rain pour over my body and soul
but something stops me every time
maybe its fear
or busyness
Somewhere inside me, I'm torn
between the child wanting to dance in the rain
and the woman trapped in the worries of this world

Except the sun is actually out
the rain is only a metaphor
and the umbrella is so many things
keeping me from all the blessings and lessons God is trying to teach me
Oh God, help me put away my umbrella
so I can embrace every new lesson, blessing, and opportunity
you so graciously give me every day

Back to Life

I have been thinking lately about bringing this blog back to life. The format will change some. I am hoping to continue the poetry but to also include other insights and reflections of things that happen in my life and things I feel God teaching me. It will not be perfect. Not all thoughts will be complete or all insights understandable. Mostly, it will be a place for me to "think out-loud".

Hoping God will use what I am thinking, feeling, struggling with, and learning to reach someone else.

God Bless

Some Day My Prince Will Come

Lord, you have taken me down a path that I don't understand

maybe it is my own stupid choices along the way

which have ruined what you meant for good

but either way, Lord I have become chained

in dreams, hurts, and desires

These chains have kept my arms

from being able to raise themselves in praise to you

My choices have brought me far from you

and your will for my life

Lord, I never meant to hurt you or myself

All I ever wanted to do was please you

but now these chains lock me down

I can't see the future

I only see the past and the pain that haunts me now

You are the only one who can free me

but I have to free myself first

I need help Lord

help to be free

help to let go and move on

help to know that one day

My prince will come

He will love me in ways I cannot fathom

He will cherish me

He will make it known,

that I am his and he is mine

I will never have to doubt or worry

That excites me

My heart longs for that day

I know he will not be perfect

I know I will still cry

and I will hurt him

but Lord, there will be a difference

A difference between a disagreement

and insecurity

or emotional roller coasters

I will be able to be confident in his love always

But Lord, I know

before that day can come

there is a lot of work to be done in me

You have to break these chains

help me to forgive totally

and glue my heart together again

from all the last several years have done to break me down

I have to become content in you

and in single life

Most importantly,

I must be walking with you

stronger than ever

loving you above all else

Then, and only then, will I be able to see my prince clearly

My prayer is, as I wait for my prince to come

you release me of these chains,

help me to be content in the life situation you have for me now,

and above all,

draw me to you Lord

Some day my prince will come

until that day Lord,

let Jesus be my prince

and let my heart be joyful and free

***after doing a lot of studying on marriage preparation, this poem was written. its funny, because out of no where, I began this study. not on purpose. praying I learn what God has planned so I am ready for whatever lies ahead***