So I am really going to try to write something that doesn't cause tears. But I apologize in advance because I couldn't let this week go by without at least a short tribute to the last 4 years of my life.
This week marks an end and a beginning. It blows my mind to think that my undergrad career is basically finished. No more finals. No more tests. No more projects. No more venting sessions about annoying prof. No more, No more, No more!!!! Okay....I better control myself because now I am about to lose it and I am in the library. It really is almost incomprehensible.
Yes, there have been many MANY moments in the last four years that I wished this time away. Many times where tears were shed over classes or professors or the graduation date that seemed to escape me. But looking back, I wouldn't trade those for the world and I wish it wouldn't end. Of course I am ready (for the most part) to be done being the student and become the teacher. I am pretty sick of school work. But the environment, my friends, my church family - All these things make me want to stay. I never thought I would be this emotional. This definitely wasn't me after high school. But then again, I am not who I was then.
I know this isn't the end. I know there is so much to look forward to. I am super excited to be actually working in a school full time. I am excited to be living in the same town as my best friend for the first time in 4 years. I am excited for China. I am excited to see what else God has in store. But I am not excited to say goodbye to the place that has been home for 4 years. And I won't lie - I am afraid of falling flat on my face in the real world.
But Monday is coming whether I like it or not. I better suck it up! GWU will always hold a special place in my heart. I wouldn't be me without them. I praise God for the last 4 years and I am sure I will praise him for the next 4, and beyond.
With all my heart <3
Quote of the day: "She is just starting out. Like ramen noodles every night starting out." -New Allstate Commercial (**not an exact quote**)
May 10, 2011
April 27, 2011
We can make it
It should be bedtime but I am wired. Coffee late in the afternoon plus just a lot of great fun with great friends equals one hyper Amber! Today was one of those days when I was reminded over and over how blessed I am. You know those days where you see people you know every where you turn and they all smile at you with a Hi or a brief conversation? Yeah it was one of those days. It really just made me smile. I realized today how much I missed being on campus. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE my living conditions this year. LOVE IT!! But today I realized how much I do miss campus. I miss the socializing, the frequent hugs, the random conversations while crossing the quad, and so much more. The old saying that a smile is contagious is so true! I am sure the fact that the weather is warming up and classwork is slowing coming to a close helps too. But just ask anyone who came to the extra Joyful Hands practice and they will tell you - I was in a great mood :-D And being outside, practicing OLD songs just made me even happier! Today wasn't the first GREAT day in awhile either. Sunday was pretty awesome too. I was a little worried that I would miss being home for Easter lunch this year. But, honestly, I never really thought about it. I was surrounded by people who have become family over the last 2 years. I had great food, great fellowship, and felt loved. It was just as great as being home because it is home.
I know why God gives us days like these - to keep us going on the rough days. If we never had any awesome days, we would never push through the tough ones. I know I have some tough ones coming up. Saying goodbye to friends who I have known for what seems like a lifetime (and who I don't feel like I have had enough time with - but what is ever enough?), major life move to a new city (hopefully for several years but who knows - and if not...well thats another tough day ahead), basically a new job even if I'm still technically a student, more weddings, and a huge comfort zone and spiritual stretch. But what today tells me is I will make it through. Why? Because of the awesome support system I have. Because of the wonderful memories I have that prove to me I am strong enough and I am worth it and I can succeed. I know when I am lonely or hurting, all I have to do is pick up my phone and I will instantly be back here - and back in this moment with these great memories. That in and of itself is a joyous thought. The next year may be full of many BIG changes - some that I know of and probably a lot that I don't - but I'm going to make it.
We are all going to make it.
Thanks Abba Father!!
I know why God gives us days like these - to keep us going on the rough days. If we never had any awesome days, we would never push through the tough ones. I know I have some tough ones coming up. Saying goodbye to friends who I have known for what seems like a lifetime (and who I don't feel like I have had enough time with - but what is ever enough?), major life move to a new city (hopefully for several years but who knows - and if not...well thats another tough day ahead), basically a new job even if I'm still technically a student, more weddings, and a huge comfort zone and spiritual stretch. But what today tells me is I will make it through. Why? Because of the awesome support system I have. Because of the wonderful memories I have that prove to me I am strong enough and I am worth it and I can succeed. I know when I am lonely or hurting, all I have to do is pick up my phone and I will instantly be back here - and back in this moment with these great memories. That in and of itself is a joyous thought. The next year may be full of many BIG changes - some that I know of and probably a lot that I don't - but I'm going to make it.
We are all going to make it.
Thanks Abba Father!!
April 16, 2011
I am sorry for being gone so long. I have been so busy between school work, my best friend's wedding, and just life in general. Plus, no new amazing revelations have come to mind.
But in general - life is good. I have seen friends recently who I haven't seen in a long time. I got to witness a woman in waiting finally get her reward. The wedding was beautiful and I feel as if my family has grown even more. School work is slowing but surely getting done and I know that I can make it to May :) China is coming together more and more. Tickets are bought and money is coming in.
Actually - if you are interested - here is our blog about China: http://thechinaadventures.blogspot.com/
However, that's about it for now. I have a paper to write and some lesson plans to do. I certainly do not want to be sitting her all day, haha!
-God Bless-
But in general - life is good. I have seen friends recently who I haven't seen in a long time. I got to witness a woman in waiting finally get her reward. The wedding was beautiful and I feel as if my family has grown even more. School work is slowing but surely getting done and I know that I can make it to May :) China is coming together more and more. Tickets are bought and money is coming in.
Actually - if you are interested - here is our blog about China: http://thechinaadventures.blogspot.com/
However, that's about it for now. I have a paper to write and some lesson plans to do. I certainly do not want to be sitting her all day, haha!
-God Bless-
March 21, 2011
Top 11 of Spring Break '11
I should have been in bed hours ago but I was instructed to have coffee at 4 pm today for my 5 hr drive back to my current home due to a lack of sleep the last 2 nights. But...coffee has not worn off, I missed my housemates (so much to catch up on from being gone a week), and there was TV to watch :-) Anyway...there were just a few things from break that I wanted to write down before heading off to bed.
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1. This caught my attention in church today. Although it had nothing to do with the sermon, I appreciate what the spirit had to say. I have read the stories in the Old Testament more times than I could count and have pulled life applications from them but I received a new one today. If you are waiting for something (anything) this is for you. Go back and read some of those stories (Abraham and Sarah, Jacob and Rachel, The Israelites, and so many others) because they all wait for God's timing. Yes, I have thought about that a tad with the Israelites but during my period of waiting (not that I am not waiting for something now but I wish I had this awhile ago so hopefully this helps someone out there) I never really thought about reading back in some of the Old Testament for examples of waiting and patience and what to do when God hasn't revealed everything yet. It was awesome and much needed this morning. They waited a lot on God then too. He will arrive, in time.
2. In Romans 4, Abraham is described as still having hope even when his body failed him. Whether you take this as a physical thing or a mental thing, we all have sins we struggle with. Our bodies fail us. Our humanity shines through some times and we feel like a failure and hate ourselves for falling for that again (at least I know I do). But Abraham's body was failing him and yet he still had a son. So why, even when my body fails me, can't I continue with hope and faith too? To me, its no different. Even when I screw up, I should continue to hope. I don't know if that makes sense written out, but I hope you get my point.
3. Wedding and Baby showers seem much crazier than when my friends got their driver's license. I don't know what is so different about this change in life stages but good heavens it is hitting me hard. My sister did a tour of a college, a friend of mine had a baby shower last week, and one of my absolute closest friends had her wedding shower today. Now, don't get me wrong, I am excited about all of these and am ready for some change to happen but at the same time, I am overwhelmed by everything going on around me and becoming very nostalgic.
4. I love that I had a Yes/No war (in sign language) with my friend's fiance. It just made me smile :)
5. Being able to be there and help with my friend's wedding means the world to me and I am so blessed to be able to call her family - family and her home - home. Even though it seems as if we are in two totally different stages of life, God has given us the ability to remain close, which I am thankful for.
6. Breakfast in a cute coffeeshop at home with another close friend....tradition and I hope it never dies :)
7. My dad and sister - the end!! haha..they are crazy but I love them (oh I love my mom too but she isn't crazy like them)
8. God proving to me that China is supposed to be a reality.
9. babies...I love them and I got to play with 3 babies this week :) and can finally outwardly rejoice in an addition that will join the world this Sept.
10. Zumba with a friend who is 5 months pregnant...haha ohh good times good times
11. Watching my "nephew" (okay..really my friend's nephew but hey...I am basically family) score his first soccer goal!!
**Bonus....IF I ever have to do the 10 hr drive again (which if I do, it will be only one more time) I will never have to do it ALONE AGAIN!!! Praise God. I am SICK of that drive!
haha..I know 11 is not a normal number for this type of thing but I didn't want to leave anything out and a top 10 with two bonuses seemed more silly. Besides...top 11 of Spring break 2011 is cool. 11 - 11. Seems cool to my sleepy brain :) Anyway...I did have a great break and now I am counting down till the wedding & Easter when I get to host a friend from home here at school :) Much love to all but its now time to find sleep (where-ever it might be hiding!)
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1. This caught my attention in church today. Although it had nothing to do with the sermon, I appreciate what the spirit had to say. I have read the stories in the Old Testament more times than I could count and have pulled life applications from them but I received a new one today. If you are waiting for something (anything) this is for you. Go back and read some of those stories (Abraham and Sarah, Jacob and Rachel, The Israelites, and so many others) because they all wait for God's timing. Yes, I have thought about that a tad with the Israelites but during my period of waiting (not that I am not waiting for something now but I wish I had this awhile ago so hopefully this helps someone out there) I never really thought about reading back in some of the Old Testament for examples of waiting and patience and what to do when God hasn't revealed everything yet. It was awesome and much needed this morning. They waited a lot on God then too. He will arrive, in time.
2. In Romans 4, Abraham is described as still having hope even when his body failed him. Whether you take this as a physical thing or a mental thing, we all have sins we struggle with. Our bodies fail us. Our humanity shines through some times and we feel like a failure and hate ourselves for falling for that again (at least I know I do). But Abraham's body was failing him and yet he still had a son. So why, even when my body fails me, can't I continue with hope and faith too? To me, its no different. Even when I screw up, I should continue to hope. I don't know if that makes sense written out, but I hope you get my point.
3. Wedding and Baby showers seem much crazier than when my friends got their driver's license. I don't know what is so different about this change in life stages but good heavens it is hitting me hard. My sister did a tour of a college, a friend of mine had a baby shower last week, and one of my absolute closest friends had her wedding shower today. Now, don't get me wrong, I am excited about all of these and am ready for some change to happen but at the same time, I am overwhelmed by everything going on around me and becoming very nostalgic.
4. I love that I had a Yes/No war (in sign language) with my friend's fiance. It just made me smile :)
5. Being able to be there and help with my friend's wedding means the world to me and I am so blessed to be able to call her family - family and her home - home. Even though it seems as if we are in two totally different stages of life, God has given us the ability to remain close, which I am thankful for.
6. Breakfast in a cute coffeeshop at home with another close friend....tradition and I hope it never dies :)
7. My dad and sister - the end!! haha..they are crazy but I love them (oh I love my mom too but she isn't crazy like them)
8. God proving to me that China is supposed to be a reality.
9. babies...I love them and I got to play with 3 babies this week :) and can finally outwardly rejoice in an addition that will join the world this Sept.
10. Zumba with a friend who is 5 months pregnant...haha ohh good times good times
11. Watching my "nephew" (okay..really my friend's nephew but hey...I am basically family) score his first soccer goal!!
**Bonus....IF I ever have to do the 10 hr drive again (which if I do, it will be only one more time) I will never have to do it ALONE AGAIN!!! Praise God. I am SICK of that drive!
haha..I know 11 is not a normal number for this type of thing but I didn't want to leave anything out and a top 10 with two bonuses seemed more silly. Besides...top 11 of Spring break 2011 is cool. 11 - 11. Seems cool to my sleepy brain :) Anyway...I did have a great break and now I am counting down till the wedding & Easter when I get to host a friend from home here at school :) Much love to all but its now time to find sleep (where-ever it might be hiding!)
March 14, 2011
Summer Plans
God always has a funny way of working things out. If you would have asked me in January about my plans for the next 6 months, I would have laughed in your face and then started crying. There was a lot in my life that was left "Pending." Even if you read back through some of my blogs recently, especially the Purple Slushies and a Big Wall one, you see a glimpse at my uncertainty. I wasn't sure if I was student teaching this fall or if I would graduate in May. I wasn't sure why I wasn't going to Nicaragua, Brazil, or Honduras (this week actually). I wasn't sure why I felt like God was up to something big. And although there is still some uncertainty left in my life (when is there not), much of what was mentioned above God answered a few weeks ago. I WILL be student teaching in the fall. I WILL be traveling to China this summer for 3 weeks to teach English and reflect Jesus. These two things lifted massive weight off of my shoulders.
There is still so much left to do for China, so I ask for your prayers. I am super excited and I have no doubt that God WILL provide. I actually just got done making a video to send to local churches for support. I love it. My daddy helped, which made it even more special.
Even just today at a baby shower for a friend of mine, some of us were catching up (cause I am HOME for spring break..YAY!) on life and I was sharing about China and student teaching. One of my friends said something about how we might as well get all the answers at once. I thought it was kinda funny and even though its overwhelming when that happens, she is right. It was not just one burden off my shoulders, it was all of it, which I am so grateful for.
****interjecting here - but I had several freak out moments about growing up over the last 24 hrs. My sister is looking at colleges (AHH!!), a friend of mine just passed her nursing boards (she is officially a RN..WOOHOO!!), I was at a baby shower for a friend of MINE!, and I will be at one of my closest friend's wedding shower next week - this is crazy!! growing up doesn't seem to happen slowly but in fast-forward!!!****
However, I do know that many people are still waiting for God to answer their questions. First, don't give up! I waited almost a year for some of those answers. Although it is not easy, it is SO WORTH IT! God has a purpose and a plan! We may not understand it till his plan is fulfilled or we may never understand on this earth but he does understand. He is keeping an entire world spinning, not just our "world." But here are a few verses that have given me comfort the last several months and one that I even just found today that I wish I had for the last several months.
"For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end—it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay."
-Habakkuk 2:3 (ESV)
"He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end....I perceived that whatever God does endures forever; nothing can be added to it, nor anything taken from it."
-Ecclesiastes 3:11,14 (ESV)
There is still so much left to do for China, so I ask for your prayers. I am super excited and I have no doubt that God WILL provide. I actually just got done making a video to send to local churches for support. I love it. My daddy helped, which made it even more special.
Even just today at a baby shower for a friend of mine, some of us were catching up (cause I am HOME for spring break..YAY!) on life and I was sharing about China and student teaching. One of my friends said something about how we might as well get all the answers at once. I thought it was kinda funny and even though its overwhelming when that happens, she is right. It was not just one burden off my shoulders, it was all of it, which I am so grateful for.
****interjecting here - but I had several freak out moments about growing up over the last 24 hrs. My sister is looking at colleges (AHH!!), a friend of mine just passed her nursing boards (she is officially a RN..WOOHOO!!), I was at a baby shower for a friend of MINE!, and I will be at one of my closest friend's wedding shower next week - this is crazy!! growing up doesn't seem to happen slowly but in fast-forward!!!****
However, I do know that many people are still waiting for God to answer their questions. First, don't give up! I waited almost a year for some of those answers. Although it is not easy, it is SO WORTH IT! God has a purpose and a plan! We may not understand it till his plan is fulfilled or we may never understand on this earth but he does understand. He is keeping an entire world spinning, not just our "world." But here are a few verses that have given me comfort the last several months and one that I even just found today that I wish I had for the last several months.
"For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end—it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay."
-Habakkuk 2:3 (ESV)
"He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end....I perceived that whatever God does endures forever; nothing can be added to it, nor anything taken from it."
-Ecclesiastes 3:11,14 (ESV)
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