Despite Myself

Here I am again

Tears ready to flow 

with thoughts of how dark our future looks

My heart breaking - My mood spiraling down

And its not because of something you or I did

No, our paths just don't seem to line up

It hurts knowing how much I care about you

and you care about me

I try to find ways to get mad at you

Taking the littlest things, trying to make them into big deals

Imagine situations that would make me angry with you

I don't care if it's false anger or justified 

I just want to be angry

And not hurt anymore

To be mad enough so I can say goodbye

But every time I try

Yeah I get angry for a little while

though it never lasts

I find myself hurting just as much as before

if not more

Missing you and wishing I was back in your arms

where nothing bad ever seemed to touch me

or wishing I was with you despite my anger

The anger isn't enough

its not strong enough

My heart breaks anyway

I miss you despite myself 

Quote of the Day:

"I wanna love like Johnny and June. Rings of fire burnin' with you. I wanna walk the line, walk the line Till the end of time. I wanna love, love ya that much. Cash it all in, give it all up. And when you're gone I wanna go too Like Johnny and June."