How are your friendships, Seriously??

        For Christmas, I received two books from the Women of Faith conference I attended in the fall. Of course, this put my other book on hold, not because I do not love Having a Mary's Heart in a Martha's World but because I decided one night to preview Friendships for Grown-Ups by Lisa Whelchel (you know, the woman who played Blair in Facts of Life) and was hooked. Now granted, I haven't finished yet. This is not because I couldn't have read it in two days but because I am trying to take it slower so I can process more. There is so much in this book that floors me. If you would have asked me before I started how my friendships were. I probably would have responded, "I have great friends. Three which I would consider best friends because they know even my darkest secretes." I would have also probably admitted that those relationships aren't perfect because what relationship ever is. I'm not stupid. I am aware of the flaws. HOWEVER, this book has challenged me, reaffirmed me, and caused more tears to flow from my eyes than anything in a long time.
         I can say without any hesitation that this book is already changing me, especially with my three closest friends. In the weeks following starting the book, I have had one deep, open conversation about one aspect of a friendship and am in the beginning stages of starting another open and honest conversation with another friend.
         Now, let me say this, I am not someone who likes confrontation. I HATE IT!! However, Lisa put it so well in several places in her book about how if you care for a relationship you don't want any bricks to be laid, thus causing a foundation for more bricks to be laid and eventually a wall to be built between the two of you. So with a deep breath, I have approached these two issues.
       But, its been more than just dealing with the bricks and coming to terms with some of the trust issues I have. Lisa tells so many stories in her book. Many of which involve a friend who is not in the same town. This is where she has gotten me most. So many of my friends are in other towns or states, hours away. This has been really difficult for me. I am such a relational person (yes even introverts love them some girl time LOL). It truly hurts me that I can't just pick up my phone and say, "Coffee?" Its been a challenge to learn how to be there for each other even when we are hundreds of miles apart. And we still haven't gotten the hang of it. But this book has given me so much hope that long distance friendships, even in the busyness of life, IS POSSIBLE! It can be AWESOME! This has given me such peace. Which is probably another reason why I have been brave enough to approach these touchy subjects. For one I want to keep my friendships healthy and second, due to the distance, a little extra work is needed.
       There are so many great truths in this book that you just have to read it for yourself and see what God has for you specifically. But I'll end with this one lesson that I am still trying to learn but Lisa is certainly giving me one more person, one more perspective to the situation. Almost as much as I hate confrontation, I strongly dislike admitting when I need a friend. I can be as lonely as all get out but will NEVER pick up my phone and call someone. There are a variety of reasons for this, all of which do not make sense. However, Lisa has dealt with this problem too. She admits in her book that she struggled so much with picking up a phone for help in anyway, from picking up her kids to just needing a friend. But as she shows by example in her book (and as a few of my friends have told me over and over), I just have to ask. Its something I have challenged myself with since the beginning of the semester. I'm going to work on speaking up for myself and picking up my phone. Maybe once I start, my friends will follow my lead. There is no special cure or a step by step process. I just have to do it. So if you are like me, take heart. Your friends are your friends for a reason. They do want to hear from you and walk this journey with you. Take the step of faith and call them. If they reject you, well then they aren't someone worth having on this journey.

Wow...this has gotten so long and I could keep going LOL!!  Seriously...pick up this book and watch how even great friendships can become amazing!