Dear friend

Dear friend,

I have lost a best friend

everyday that becomes more apparent to me

although I know God is working

and we are where he wants us

and that I have not always had happy feelings toward you

I still miss you

and love you

I knew I cared a lot about you

I knew that saying goodbye would be one of the hardest thing I have ever done

I knew we were really close

but I did not realize the extent that it became

I did not realize you were one of my best friends

and how far I had fallen for you

how much I loved you and cared about you

I hate the negative feelings I have for you

I want it to be alright

I want us to be friends

I miss talking to you

your humor

the way you made me feel better when my skies were gray

the way you hugged me

when I felt the world was against me

your encouragement

your amazing technical knowledge 

which astounded me every time (and saved my computer)

our times together, hanging out, doing nothing

but that was okay because we were together

and just being there when everyone else had walked away

but then again

I don't know if we can ever just be friends again 

and that hurts even more

losing your friendship

hurts more than losing your love 

I don't want you to hurt

I want you to be happy

let me be the one to hurt

yeah it sucks

and I don't like it

but I'd rather it be me than you

tears come to my eyes when I realize

how much you are hurting

how much you are struggling in life

and I hate it

all I did

as your close friend

was add to it

give you one more person you cannot confide in

one less person to go to on a crappy day

one less person to give you a hug and tell you it will all work out

one less person 

I hope you know

I will always love you

you left a dent :) 

and I hope one day (Lord willing)

you will be in my life again

dear friend

Quote of the Day:

"Time to go, this is goodbye she said,

Does it ever get easier to live like this?

And kiss the cheek, for I can't kiss you anymore

And I, I would honestly love you now,

But I would lovingly let you down...

Oh, I have the hardest time resisting you, and, oh, if you...

If you feel the same way,

Then how can we be friends?

He's right you know, we can't go on like this.
And oh I'd try to give you everything

And if I fail, well then I fail, but at least I gave you something"   -If I Fail by Cartel