Amazed

I stand in amazement of you Lord

I am grateful for the friends I have

for the support surrounding me

This past week has been extremely difficult 

and even though I have been on my knees

praying for guidance, wisdom, comfort

and the list goes on

crying to the point where I had no tears left to shed

my heart in a million pieces on the floor

in total disbelief and confusion

and a feeling of sadness consuming my body

I still have this level of peace

I do not know what the future holds

I do not know the right next step to take

and my heart is torn in two different directions

yet I am calm

I have not totally lost it

normally, in this situation

a girl would go crazy 

be one of those psycho girls

or just lying in bed all day, every day

crying, eating ice cream, and planning revenge

But thats not me

I have cried, a lot

I have vented to friends

I have gotten angry

but not to an extreme

I am still living a normal life

sometimes I space out

or become depressed again

but its not affecting my general flow in life

or is really noticed by those around me

I am grateful to God for this peace

this relative calm

I know He is the one providing it

because this is not my human nature 

I never asked for this

yet He provided

Thank you Lord

for taking care of your daughter

when she needed you the most

and her heart didn't know what to ask for 

Lord, I pray this continues

I know the road ahead is going to be bumpy

I know this will not be easy

but the overall peace is comforting 

I am blessed beyond words to have a God

who looks out so carefully for His children

What an amazing God we serve 

Quote of the Day:

"There is nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing that is currently on or in your life that God has not in his infinite all-knowing wisdom decided not to stop and so therefore its a part of the purpose of God for his glory and your eventual joy." -Matt Chandler of the Village Church